I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
