It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
