He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
