so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
