Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
