Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
