Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
