its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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