Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
