No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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