direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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