Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Randomize
