That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
