cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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