I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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