Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
