My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
