i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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