Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
