just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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