He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
