Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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