Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
