I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
