Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize