we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
