There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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