Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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