Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
