we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
