Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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