It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
