I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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