So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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