No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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