She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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