You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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