As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I look better un-naked...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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