I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
