We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How naked do you want me to be?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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