He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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