As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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