I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
