love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
