the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
