I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
