so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
