who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
