Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
