peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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