So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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