I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
