Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
