So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
