i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
