I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize