Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
