I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I need to calm my uterus...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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