this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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