Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
