..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
