Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
