Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
time to smoke my breakfast
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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