he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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