Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
