Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
