I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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