I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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