Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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