Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
