the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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