this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
